Maybe the answer to “What’s the point?” is “I need to watch more tv.” I am being flippant, or rather, I am not. I notice that on the whole I am happiest when I am lost in something or other – some fandom, a lilac bush, dinner, frantic writing. Perhaps my pattern recognition is just screwed up; I always see things that aren’t, and don’t see what is there. I can give five interpretations of any given set of data, and completely fail to detect what is most plausible.
I find that the big decisions are best left alone. The big questions – well, Rilke, sentimentality and all, is right I think, and worth quoting again:
“...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Also, I am not entirely sure that I am not looking for the question, rather than the answer.
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